Stretching Yourself
by Michael Feeley
There’s a particular feeling that comes with growth — part exhilaration, part exposure. Part fear and also pride. You feel it the moment you commit to something you’ve never done before, when the outcome isn’t guaranteed. That’s stretching. Not the easy kind of change, where you already know you’ll be fine. The real kind, where you might not be, and you do it anyway.
Learning a new language. Finally applying for that job you’ve circled for months. Learning to drive a stick shift at sixty. Becoming more flexible, less set in our ways. We think about these things, circle them, call it “considering.” And then we don’t move. Thinking about stretching and actually stretching are two different acts, and only one changes you.
I was recently challenged to make a two-minute video on my phone for a real estate project I’m working on with two colleagues. I’d never done anything like it — no experience, no shortcuts, and a deadline that wasn’t moving. It was way out of my comfort zone. I said yes anyway.
Underneath the eagerness sat fear and shame. I didn’t want to let my colleagues down, or myself. Part of me wanted to hide, to back out and let the deadline pass. I was scared. I was genuinely worried I would fail in front of people whose respect I wanted to keep.
I did it anyway. I asked my colleagues questions, built a plan, found a location that felt right, and practiced the script from memory. Nothing to fall back on if I froze. I chose what I’d wear, (which mattered more than I expected).
Then I started recording, and I forgot what I was saying. Not once, over and over. Somewhere around take twenty, still losing the same sentence, I understood something: this wasn’t failure; it was learning, happening in real time. So I adapted. Instead of forcing one flawless two-minute take, I broke it into four shorter videos that could be edited together. That wasn’t giving up. That was the stretch changing shape to fit the person doing it.
I loved it. I was also frustrated a lot. Both were true at once. That’s not a contradiction, that’s what real growth feels like while it’s happening. The satisfaction comes after. The stretch itself is uncomfortable, and if it isn’t, it probably wasn’t much of a stretch.
I upskilled. I did something I couldn’t do before. Who knows what that opens up next.
So here’s what I’m asking you, the same question I’ve been asking myself:
What’s the one thing you’ve circled for months — the language, the instrument, the job posting, the conversation — and still haven’t started?
Tell me where you’re ready to stretch and go beyond yourself.
Thanks – Michael (he, him)
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