Who Makes You Flicker?
by Michael Feeley
You pass a stranger on the street and think nothing.
No opinion or feeling. They’re just a person going by.
That’s what it looks like when someone doesn’t matter to you.
Now think of the person you ignore. The one you’ve written off.
They walk into the room, or someone mentions their name, and a sentence shows up: “They don’t matter to me.”
Along with it comes a flicker. A small tightening. A bit of heat.
I noticed this in myself recently, and I started studying it.
If they truly didn’t matter, I wouldn’t need the sentence. Indifference is silent. It doesn’t announce itself.
So what is still burning?
For me, it’s dishonesty. Someone who lies, hides, and plays the victim. The person may not matter to me. Honesty does.
A flicker is small. But a flicker left alone can become a raging inferno. Resentment starts this way, and so do grudges that last for years.
I don’t have to confront anyone or set them straight. If they approach, I can say nothing and walk away.
That isn’t pretending. It’s choosing not to feed the fire.
The flicker tells me what I care about.
Who makes you flicker? And what is it telling you?
Thanks – Michael (he, him)
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This is also helpful – Toxic People Should Wear a Sign.
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