What do you do when you no longer trust someone who has skills and experience you need in your work?

Do you walk away immediately because you choose not to work with people you can’t trust? Or do you stay watchful, managing them carefully until you can find a replacement?

The situation feels like standing at a fork where neither path is entirely comfortable.

Walking away honors your integrity but might compromise work that matters. Staying watchful keeps things moving but requires operating in a state of vigilance that’s exhausting and, frankly, a bit corrupting.

But let’s sit with what’s really happening here. There’s the disappointment – maybe even grief – of losing faith in someone you once relied on. That loss is real, regardless of what you decide to do next.

Does it matter what broke the trust? A major betrayal feels different than accumulated small disappointments. The nature of the breach might affect not just your response, but what you’re actually hurting about.

Here’s what strikes me: the moment we decide to strategically manage someone we don’t trust, we’ve already compromised something in ourselves. We become transactional in a relationship that was presumably meant to be collaborative. And that sustained watchfulness – what does it actually do to us over time? To our other relationships? To our work itself?

Maybe we need to ask: were we wrong about them from the start, or did something change? What does this teach us about our own judgment?

And here’s the harder truth – sometimes we genuinely can’t just walk away immediately. There might be real constraints: financial, contractual, temporal, even fear. How do we navigate integrity when we’re not fully free to choose?

Perhaps the real question isn’t about them at all – it’s about who we want to be when trust breaks down. Can we maintain our own integrity while we transition away from someone? Can we be honest about the situation without being cruel?

Maybe there’s a middle path: being clear about what’s changed, setting boundaries that protect both the work and your peace of mind, while actively seeking alternatives. Not sneaky weaning off and away, but honest unwinding.

Who do you want to be when trust dissolves? And what does staying in compromised situations cost you beyond the immediate work at hand?

Thanks – Michael (he, him)

Please share this Daily with your tribes.
This also matters – Lead with Integrity.

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