We all have problems. No one gets through a day, let alone a life, without them.

What we can do is choose how we look at them.

When I call something a problem, I feel its weight. My shoulders tighten, my thinking narrows, and I go around in the same worried way.

When I ask instead, “Where is the opportunity here?” something shifts. The stress lessens, and curiosity grows. I stop bracing against the thing and start exploring it. The facts haven’t changed, but my point of view has, and that often changes everything that follows.

I’ve also noticed something that surprises and opens me right into gratitude every time.

When I am sincerely interested in other people, in their lives, their worries, and their challenges, my own problem becomes less difficult. Sometimes a solution even appears, as if it had been waiting for me to look up.

Caring about someone else takes the focus off just me. It widens my perspective and reminds me that I am not alone in having difficulties. And it increases my desire to be useful and to care more.

Seth Godin’s new book, The Knot: Problems Can Be Solved, has helped me see this even more clearly. Seth draws a distinction I find freeing. Some things are situations. They have no solution, and we learn to live with them. Others are real problems, and problems can be solved.

Knowing the difference saves a great deal of energy. I can stop fighting what cannot be changed and get to work on what can.

So today, look at what’s troubling you.

Is it a situation to live with or a problem to solve? Where is the opportunity in it?

Then ask someone else how they are doing, and listen closely.

You may find your own answer there.

Thanks – Michael (he, him)

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This matters too – You’re a Problem Solver (PS).

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