There’s a particular species of dishonesty called convenient amnesia. It’s the art of selectively forgetting whatever doesn’t serve you – past promises, previous positions, uncomfortable truths. And ironically, some of its most devoted practitioners will swear they never lie.

People like this claim moral superiority because they “never lie.” But confront them with the fact that you don’t trust them, and watch the fury ignite. How dare you question their integrity?

This isn’t a medical condition. It’s a choice masquerading as a memory problem.

Some will even play the brain fog card – “I’ve been so stressed,” “My memory isn’t what it used to be.” Suddenly, you’re the villain for not being compassionate about their “condition.” Except brain fog doesn’t selectively erase only the memories that would hold someone accountable. Real cognitive issues don’t conveniently spare the recollections that serve their interests. These are con artists weaponizing sympathy, grifters hiding behind manufactured vulnerability.

There’s often a specific incident where the scales fall from your eyes, and you realize this isn’t occasional forgetfulness – it’s a deliberate strategy. That moment of clarity changes everything. Suddenly, you see not just selective amnesia, but the entire arsenal: the brain-fog excuse, the victim coat of arms they wear whenever challenged, the righteous indignation when caught. They’re always the misunderstood ones, the unfairly accused, the person everyone picks on. This victimhood becomes their most powerful weapon – making you the aggressor for simply remembering what they’d prefer to forget.

What makes this behavior so damaging is its gaslighting component. When people insist they never knew or were part of deception, never said something you clearly remember, you might start questioning yourself. Did I misunderstand? Am I remembering wrong? This self-doubt is precisely the goal. If they can make you uncertain of your own reality, they maintain control while preserving their spotless self-image.

Convenient amnesia isn’t just lying to others – it’s lying to yourself. People will forget their own past positions, statements, even core values if remembering would create cognitive dissonance with who they need to be today.
This stands in direct opposition to living with integrity – being “one way” across all contexts. Integrity requires remembering. It demands consistency between past promises and present actions. It means being accountable even when uncomfortable.

When people claim moral high ground while conveniently forgetting whatever doesn’t serve them, they’re revealing exactly who they are. And when they rage at your mistrust, they’re telling you everything you need to know about whether that mistrust is justified.

How do you trust people who rewrite the facts to suit their needs?

Thanks – Michael (he, him)

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