Can You Really Be One Way?
by Michael Feeley
It’s a choice to show up as you. To be the same person – your true self – in every single life situation you are in.
Work, relationships, family gatherings, shopping, emailing, Zoom meetings. That’s integrity. Being integrated.
Ask: How can I be one way?
It also means examining your life to see if every connection you’re involved with is healthy for you in your mind and heart.
If not – find out why and then change it.
Go ahead – tell the truth about yourself to everyone.
Yup. That’s right. Tell the whole truth. You’ll probably shake things up and disrupt some people but when the ‘fall out’ settles you’ll be saying — “This is who I am. This is how I intend to live my life. This is the real me!”
In the process of speaking your truth you’ll garner something wonderful — authenticity — living your values and your beliefs. That’s being true to yourself.
I’m not saying be any way you want. Jails are full of people who do that and don’t care at all about the effect they have on others or the world. It means being responsible – holding yourself accountable for your thoughts and actions.
Gandhi gives us three wise and basic guide lines to live your life by and he knew a great deal about showing up as himself – being true to himself and also to a nation:
“Be congruent. Be authentic. Be your true self.”
We’re all born with instincts about how to live a good life. If you go away from those innate feelings you may feel bad; you’ll hurt, be ashamed and you might even get angry. It’s the ethical unconscious that lives in all of us. You can’t get away from it. That truth in you stands for justice – respect – love – for ourselves and other people.
When I look back on my life I sometimes cringe thinking about some of the things I said and did. The bad feelings are my internal, ethical GPS letting me know that the direction I went in, the choices I made were unjust to someone or something or myself. It’s an opportunity and a gift because you can always change how you see things, grow and be different. Hopefully never doing it again.
Everything in life is a learning experience which enables you to know how you can be true to yourself.
Doesn’t it sound appealing, incredibly relaxing and deeply satisfying to show up as your true self? Really you!
Thanks – Michael